Musings of a Lost Girl

I wrote these two pieces while struggling with an eating disorder. I decided to post them as a contrast to my latest piece, “Divine Mother“.

lostgirl

In My Room

in my room

i painted all the walls

so many shades and hues

to chase Darkness away but

i can see him hidding still

slinking in the shadows and the dust

his dreary shades of grey and

clouds of howling pain

enveloping me

in my room

i smashed the mirror on the wall

and stomped the pieces to bits

to shatter Shame’s face

but i can see her laughing still

her hate is hot and stings my skin

her condemnatory eyes

are shards of glass

cutting me

in my room

the radio is always on

soothing voices from the airwaves

do battle with Loneliness

but i can feel him hovering still

when no voice from the stereo

pauses to check my way

he looks at me and says “you will never

forget me”

The Women in my Closet

there are many different women
hanging in my closet
their skins of cotton and lace

so many different women are
under my bathroom sink
everyone with a different face

each different woman is a
costume a new place to
hide my real self in

there are many different women
hanging in my closet but
her disguise is wearing thin

Reading these makes me sad for my old self, but I am happy to say that with the help, love, and support of my wonderful family, friends, and James my life partner, I have found the real beauty within myself. I finally feel free of the chains that I had entangled myself in, and life is beautiful! 🙂

IAM

I am NOT reduced to a sick, powerless mess!

I AM a living manifestation of the awesome force of creation!

And so are YOU!

4d5f3d85803528933952ae31a3cfbdf1

If you or a loved one struggles with an eating disorder, or other mental health concern, help is available. www.211ontario.ca is a resource that assists in finding local resources for those in need.

Advertisements

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been a very inquisitive and observant person. I have also always felt as though there is something "not quite right" about the world. Prior to acquiring some basic information about the issues affecting our reality, natural law, the real definition of obfuscated words, and many other topics, I lived in a state of complete fear. My whole reality was consumed with one fear or another, and it began to cause me more and more suffering in my personal life. After developing an understanding of the above mentioned topics however, I am no longer stuck in the fear paradigm imposed on most of society. Thankfully, being curious about many things has spurred a tendency in me to research countless topics. In my quest for knowledge and truth, I have come to certain understandings about the world that we live in, the laws and constraints that we are (often unwittingly) subjected to in order that the system that we currently inhabit continues. Here, I will be posting my observations, exposing wrongdoings going on in our community and around the world, and suggesting some solutions required to alter the reality that we presently experience. I hope that anyone visiting this page will at least come away with some useful knowledge that can be directly applied to their life, and at best, share the information with others.

Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Poetry
One comment on “Musings of a Lost Girl
  1. Mack Tucker says:

    Beautiful expression of “self” recognition 😉

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories
Archives

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

%d bloggers like this: